


i wonder what you'd be doing right now.

by moonblossoms



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707 | Luciel Choi's Route, Angst, F/M, Reset Theory (Mystic Messenger), Unrequited Love, Zen | Hyun Ryu's Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-18 21:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12396276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonblossoms/pseuds/moonblossoms
Summary: zen remembers being in love with her, so why doesn't she seem to remember him? [what if zen knew about the reset?]





	i wonder what you'd be doing right now.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm pretty sure the mystic messenger fandom is practically dead now but i wrote this months ago when it wasn't. i got the idea from one of zen's thoughts that the spaceship picked up (the thought is the title). i wrote this before the April fools DLC which kind of supports the theory that zen knows about the resets/that he's in a different dimension. anyways enjoy!

i wonder what you'd be doing right now  
[in which zen knows about the reset theory]

"Have you ever been in love?"  
"Do you have a special someone?"  
"Are you seeing anyone lately?"

Zen is no stranger to these incessant questions, as a rising star he is very much accustomed to countless enquiries into his love life. But he doesn't think he has one, doesn't think there's ever been anyone he's loved - although he is sometimes strangely uncertain of this. So every time he's asked he replies with an; "Unfortunately no, but maybe one day."

He can even picture the girl he'll fall for, can see the coy curve to her rosy lips, the wide-doe eyes that shine like the milky way and he can hear her voice. It is soft and melodious as it whispers his name; "Hyun.." he hears the fond beckoning as he lies awake at ungodly hours, remembering someone yet desperately trying to forget. It's almost as if he has already fallen for her.

But she's more than just a dreamer's portrait of the one they desire to love and hold. Because he knows her too - he can feel it. She has a kind heart that overflows with empathy and kindness, and she's so smart and wise that he can't believe she's not walked the earth since it's creation. She suffers too - there is a pain that threatens to spill at the seams of her, tearing her being apart but she fights it.

He feels like he truly knows this girl, because he can remember how her lips taste and how her hand fits perfectly in his own. He can so distinctly recall what it felt like to make love to her and to hold her in his arms. It's such a vivid recollection of a life he is sure he has not lived that he begins to doubt himself.

It's as if his heart had orchestrated a whole life for this girl - he knows exactly how she interacts with the other RFA members. She jokes with Seven, coddles Yoosung, supports Jaehee, trusts V and even respects Jumin. She cares for them all so deeply. But her love for him outshines any jealousy or doubt he could ever had.

He knows - or thinks he knows - that this girl is not real. She is a distant dream. Perhaps a way he tries to deal with the loneliness. So though she feels more real than anything, he tells himself he is just lonely. And he focuses on his acting and ignores the ache in his heart as he thinks of that sweet smile.

And that's when _she_ enters the chat room. She says her name is ___ and a pang of familiarity hits him. He knows that name. He's never known a ___ in his life as it's evidently a foreign name. But nonetheless it causes the pain he had tried to quell to rear its ugly head and resurface.

___ is to be the new party planner it seems - which strikes him as a case of deja vu. Zen seems to remember something that the others don't. Not even V or Seven. when they interact with ___, it's new and natural yet he feels like there is something weighing on his heart. Like this has all happened before.

On the 4th day of knowing her, she relents and sends a selfie to him. "As requested by lovely Zen ^^" is the notification that pops up on his screen. so he opens the chat room, excepting to see a pretty girl and nothing more. But he knows this face - those eyes, that smile - he's seen it all in a dream of some sort.

"You're so cute ___!" He sends an array of compliments to the chat room and plays the air-headed flirt like he feels like he's supposed to - all the while trying to ignore the pain that consumes him. Because she truly is beautiful - too beautiful, even. She is a beautiful ghost that has haunted his dreams for so long.

Zen grows close to ___, showering her with affection, calling her up and chatting for hours on end. But he is no fool, he has seen the way she is with Seven. he knows that she does not feel the same way as him - the way that he has always felt. He observes her and Seven's insane and witty exchanges with a heavy heart, swallowing his tears.

As a joke, ___ changes her name to 606 - which he would almost find sweet if it weren't for the bitterness that it prompts. 707 and 606, it's a perfectly brilliant duo and Zen knows that. But she was his once, he just knows it. Maybe in a past life or simply in the world of dreams.

One night, it is all too unbearable and a stupidly drunk Yoosung is not helping his mood. He dials her number and listens to it ring, waiting with bated breath. "Who are you calling?" Yoosung slurs loudly and Zen answers without even thinking. "My princess." It was first nature to him, because she was his princess. She always had been.

Yoosung however, doesn't agree; "Lying! Saeyoung has the princess." He giggles drunkenly, violet eyes unfocused and Zen knows that he means no harm but it takes all his strength to bite back the rage that bubbles inside him. The sadness and reality soon deflate that anger. Yoosung is right, she's not his anymore - maybe she never even was.

Her voicemail wakes him from his solemn reverie. He can hear her soft voice that shakes with laughter and he can hear Seven's laughter too. He hates to admit it, but it's in perfect sync. It sounds so right and he wants to be happy for her and for Seven, but he just can't let his strange memories go.

He looks at her screen photo on the RFA app, unwelcome tears brimming in his crimson eyes as he grips the phone pathetically. Zen hope she's okay - even though he knows she is, of course she is, she has Seven.

He has always liked the spotlight being on him, but he can feel the picture of Seven and her burning into his soul. Their gaze somehow scrutinising and making him feel like the smallest, ugliest most insignificant thing in the world.

 

On the day of the party, Zen genuinely considers not going. He'd much rather hide away than face the pain of it all. But he has to go, not just for the RFA, but for her. He wants so badly to meet her (again) and to experience her warmth, even if it breaks his heart.

He thinks that maybe meeting her will put an end to the suffering, maybe he doesn't really know her and he's just being ridiculously jealous. He almost hopes that this is the case, because he'd much rather just be crazy than in a state unrequited love that lived once.

But once he sees her, there is no denying the reality. His dreams were a reality. He knows her, has loved her truly and she was so clearly once his. She hugs him and he bathes in her warmth, remembering how it felt to hold her as she slept, or cried or simply sought his affection. He remembers her now. It's so vivid and painful that he leaves earlier than he normally would, forcing himself to take his gaze off her and step out into the cold night.

He sees ___ sparingly after that, finding it practically unbearable to be around her. He doesn't think he'll ever love anyone like he has loved ___. He just hopes she's happy, even if she doesn't remember him, or if she abandoned him. He would love ___ regardless.

He thinks of ___ often - too often maybe, she dominates his thoughts so much that acting his hard - unless it's a romance scene. He pretends his co-star is ___ and in those scenes, he is not acting.

She come to see one of his shows and part of him is elated, that she wants to see him perform - she is accompanied by Yoosung, Jumin, V, Jaehee, Saeyoung and even Saeran.

His eyes are drawn to her throughout the show, as she sits between the two twins with an intent gaze and a cute grin on her lips. It makes his heart race to know she is so enthralled by his performance. So he pours his whole being in to it, delivering each line as if he were murmuring them to her as if she was watching the stars with him on his rooftop.

It evidently pays off because the critics are buzzing about this show - it's dubbed his best performance yet and he believes that it will remain that until he retires. Not even his acting skills could rival his passion and love for her.

At the end of the show there is a question and answer section, due to it being the first performance of this play. And as usual, the questions about his love life come rushing in.

"Your performance was filled with such passion! Almost as if someone you truly love was motivating you. Have you ever been in love?"

This times he answers differently, because this time he knows the truth. He has been in love and is still in love with her, and he probably always will be.

"I have been in love. It feels like a long time ago now but it wasn't. I'm not sure if they even remember, but I do. I can't forget them. I'll always love them I think. And although you are not mine no longer, I wonder what you'd be doing right now.. if you were still mine."

Despite the fact that the room has erupted with gasps, clapping, weeping and a flurry of questions about who she is, Zen is oblivious to it all. His ruby gaze is locked on her, his eyes burning and mournful as she meets his gaze with teary eyes.

 


End file.
